"Are you guilty of playing down your accomplishments and brushing off compliments with a humble, "Oh, it was nothing"? You may be suffering from a case of false modesty. But fear not, for this article will show you how to get rid of your humble façade and embrace your success like the boss you are. Spoiler alert: it's not as hard as you think"

So What’s The Problem With Practicing Humility?

It’s not about practicing humility, as being humble in and of itself isn’t a problem. For instance, when one has a child it is imperative to humble oneself in order to meet that child’s needs. There is definitely a place, and a very important one, for humility. The issue, however, arises when counterproductive narratives are applied, leaving social constructs that promote unnecessary judgement and control. It’s not uncommon to find people using humility as a tool to control others. This is because it is perhaps one of the most powerful tools for social manipulation. To add insult to injury, when the notion of humility is formed into a weapon of judgement, it creates a pervasive cycle of strife and negativity. If the social construct suggests that a college graduate should refrain from discussing their achievements in public, one slip of the tongue will bring down extreme judgement and social woes. It doesn’t take much to see how destructive this pattern can be.

Some may say “why discuss your achievements aloud anyway, what difference does it make?”. I would then ask that person; “why does it bother you in the first place?”. Perhaps there is something more to one’s reaction to another person’s choice of words. Ultimately, no one can know what goes on in another person’s head, but actions will always expose the truth. Our world has seen enough of the damaging effects of false modesty, and we should all do our part in not contributing towards any future problems that may arise as a result. 

Identifying False Modesty

False modesty can be a tricky concept to grasp, both in ourselves and in others. But, with a little bit of know-how, you can begin to easily recognize it and take the necessary steps to address it. Here are some tips I came up with to help with recognizing:

False modesty in yourself and others

• Look for inconsistencies: False modesty often involves downplaying an accomplishment or talent (we all know that person!), but then subtly drawing attention to it in other ways. For example, someone who says "Oh, it was nothing" when receiving a compliment, but then proceeds to talk about the achievement in great detail to others.
• Pay attention to body language: Nonverbal cues can often give away when someone is being falsely modest. For example, they may look uncomfortable or even proud when discussing their achievements in a humble way. Each of us naturally has the ability to sniff it out when it occurs, so trust your gut.
• Listen for humblebragging: This is when someone brags about an accomplishment or talent, but couches it in a humble or self-deprecating comment. For example, "I hate to toot my own horn, but I got a promotion at work."

Some common questions people ask about False Modesty

• How to distinguish between false modesty and humility?: Humility is a genuine trait where you acknowledge your own limitations and strengths, and have the ability to acknowledge others' strengths as well. False modesty is an insincere trait, where you downplay your own strengths to draw attention to them.
• How to address false modesty in others without offending them?: It's important to remember that false modesty is often unintentional, so try to approach the conversation in a constructive way. For example, you could say something like, "I know you're being modest, but I just wanted to say that what you did was really impressive."
• How to overcome false modesty and be more assertive?: To overcome false modesty, it's important to start by recognizing when you're doing it. Then, try to reframe your thoughts and take credit for your accomplishments. Additionally, set small goals for yourself to become more assertive and practice speaking up for yourself in small situations.

Conclusion

To wrap things up I would like to point out a few key points from the article that I believe are very important. This thing known as "False Modesty", that I personal think is very unproductive, is a common behavior that can have a significant impact on our personal and professional lives, as well as our relationships and interactions with others. When we are able to see and understand the impact it can have, we can take steps to address it and be more assertive and genuine in our communication of our accomplishments and abilities.

One of the key takeaways that I would like every reader to to take away from this article is the importance of being honest with ourselves and others about our accomplishments and abilities, without feeling guilty! By being genuine and transparent, we can build stronger relationships, reach our full potential, and be recognized and respected for our talents.

I can't stress how important it is to develop a healthy level of self-confidence and self-esteem. I've always encouraged my employees and students to embrace themselves fully, even when it seems unpopular. In the long run you will be appreciated for your ability to be unapologetically honest than passive and ultimately dishonest. Don't let false modesty hold you back from your full potential.

False Modesty Recap:

-False modesty definition: Downplaying one’s accomplishments or talents in a way that draws attention to them.

-Importance of understanding false modesty: Recognizing and addressing it can prevent it from holding you back from reaching your full potential and having a negative impact on relationships and interactions with others.

-Identifying false modesty: Inconsistencies, nonverbal cues, and humblebragging.

-The impact of false modesty: Holds back personal and professional growth, negatively impacts relationships and interactions, and affects self-esteem and confidence.