When it comes to taking control of your life there is only one place you need to search. I’m guessing about 90% of you guessed right, or at least I hope so. Over the last 25 years I have learned many things, and for most of them had I just received the proper information I could have either avoided some major setbacks or done better much sooner. Either way, it’s water under the bridge and dwelling on past failures IS failing in and of itself. Below I have listed 10 Key Steps for taking back control of your life. When you are in control you quickly realize that external factors don’t matter, and your own internal power becomes all the more evident.
The 10 Key Steps to Taking Control of Your Life
Hold Yourself Accountable
A person who is able to hold themselves accountable is a person who is open to growth. You cannot take control of your life if any bad habits or patterns are written off as “that’s just the way it is”. Growth is tough, especially when you find yourself climbing out from a hole that you’ve spent months or even years digging. Accountability is like a super power. It gives you strength that you didn’t even realize was there. You will no longer make excuses or take shortcuts, or blame others for your shortcomings. Not only will this exalt you in the eyes of others, but also lead to more productive outcomes in each and everything you do.
Make A Plan
Without a map you will undoubtedly get lost. Once lost you are either going to venture down the wrong pate or simply return from whence you came. Many people I speak with see planning as some sort of complex task when in in fact it isn’t. While planning has its levels and can become extremely complicated, the one you need for your everyday life can be as simple as writing down a list of to-do’s on a sheet of paper. There’s so much to this part that I just don’t have the room to express it here. I do offer a free online course entitled “Max Productivity” that goes into great detail on how to properly plan.
Once you have a Plan you can begin to fill in the blanks and beefing it up as needed. If you’re old school take out a piece of paper and write down a list of things you can tackle today. Go going, don’t wait!
Get Help
Having someone to turn to will make all the difference on your journey. Believe me when I tell you this. A mentor, advisor, whatever you wish to call them will no doubt shave off YEARS of frustration. Be open to seeking help and borrowing vital knowledge from those who came before you.
Learn To Listen
Listening will be your best friend and expose so much that you otherwise might not even notice. It’s not about being humble and quieting down in the presence of others for the sake of peace. When you learn to “listen first” you will establish a certain patience and resolve that will put you ahead of the pack every time. Spend some times watching speeches of people you don’t agree with. YouTube is full of that. Try watching the entire video without saying a word. Try taking in the information, although it may be counter to your own beliefs, as just that, information and not attach any emotion to it. Learn to master this aspect of yourself and so many other things will fall into place.
Build Your Toolbox
My father always said that if you read more than the next man you will always have the advantage. That was back in the 80’s and I have never forgotten it. I became an avid reader, learning everything I could within my field of interest. I became so heavy in knowledge that others began to come to me for advice. A nephew of mine once blurted out; “you’re like the human google”.
When building your toolbox do so with intention. Go into every new experience and body of information with the knowing that it’s going to make you better and more powerful. By better I don’t mean better than others, but an overall better person. Once you’ve established a formative toolbox you will notice other people will begin showing you greater respect, and also your own self-confidence will soar.
Embrace Failure As cliché as it sounds, failure is a part of the every process of any journey. No one does something for the first time and gets it exactly right. If they say they have they’re lying to you. The fact that we had to learn how to walk as babies ruins that possibility for everyone. Unless you ran out of the womb it’s doubtful that your track record is perfect. Embracing failure doesn’t mean being okay with it, as if to say; “I like to fail” or “I enjoy failure.” Don’t take this colloquialism beyond its true meaning.
Learning to fail is essentially the same as learning to win. You can’t know winning without failure. To go a bit deeper, failure is completely subjective and should be understood as such. Your standard of success is no doubt different from that of Jeff Bezos. In fact, try not to see it as failure, but instead an opportunity to learn, to gain more. With this approach I can assure you that your life will take a turn for the better.
Accept Change
In this world change is inevitable. Things rise and fall every day, and if you haven’t experienced any real change yet, well, just wait. Why not get ahead of it and learn to fully accept change. Go into it with an open mind and morph accordingly. When you go against the grain you will surely lose. Whether you are a multi-national operation like IBM who haughtily turned up their noses at personal computing years ago – or the founder and president of a University (my own, Life University) who refused to embrace changes that impacted 90% of the school’s curriculum and nearly resulted in the school’s demise.
Establish A Routine
Whether it’s your job or a group you meet with 3 times a week, get into a productive routine! This will not only be a good use of your time for so many reasons, it will also help to establish and maintain new standards beneficial to your life. Being around others and doing things repeatedly will establish the type of work ethic required to rise to the next level.
Forgive Yourself
Usually when people hear me say this a look of confusion hits me before any actual response. This is because generally when we think about “forgiveness”, we think of someone outside of ourselves who has wronged us. As a child you were judged by your parents and perhaps your siblings, too. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does create a sense of self consciousness that follows us throughout life. Society is layered with rules and expectations, and while some are absolutely necessary for the stability and qualify of our society, others are on the fence and often left for those on the receiving end to decide how, or whether, to implement into their lives. You might find yourself going against the opinion of someone close to you, namely a parent, and even as an adult you will find it a difficult transition. This is because you were raised to be who you are through judgement. What is needed now is for you to embrace your own ideas and feelings, even when in contrast to those close to you, and those you respect greatly. This will create an immense amount of guilt on your part, trust me, but it must be done. Carrying this guilt will cause you to second guess your decisions, miss out on opportunities, I mean, the list is endless. Give yourself a clean slate and accept who you are and standby it without apology.
Forgive Others
I saved the best for last. Years ago I attended a powerful 3 day workshop known as Landmark. Although there were so many amazing tools I walked away with, at the core of it all was forgiving those who you believed had wronged you. Whether that person hurt someone in your family, or you, that didn’t matter at all. We were tasked with calling that person, or those persons, on the phone and apologizing for holding resentment against them for all that time.
While you might see this as selling out your values, that couldn’t be further from the truth. By forgiving others and taking full responsibility for your own space, you become free, and without this freedom you will never become the force that you could be.
Goodluck on your journey forward and I wish you all the best! I offer a free course entitled MAX Productivity that could prove extremely useful on your journey.
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