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5 books that will make you a better lover
Ron Davis • Jan 21, 2021
How Reading Can Make You A Better Lover
Most people live with the assumption that being in a healthy relationship can't just happen without you being through different relationships with people, which they call trial and error method. The ability to be a good lover and a good friend is not innate, it is a conscious effort, you must be conscious about it because it can be learnt in various ways. There are so many factors that determine how you function in a relationship or friendship it includes your mentality, past baggage, your communication pattern and many more.
Most people are dogmatic when it comes to the relationship with their lover, even in platonic friendships. They take relationship advice from their friends and they believe what they are being told because their friends' relationship is working well for them, so they apply and expect the same rule to work in their relationship, which is a very bad mentality.
There are many ways to improve your love life with your partner. Relationship books are one of the ways, they are books written by relationship veterans like psychologist, couple therapists, counsellors.
1. All about love written by Bell Hooks: The insight about love in this book might not change your love life and at the same time it can. The word "love" in this book is used as a noun, but we'll all prefer it being used as a verb.
The salient point she made in the book is that society fails to provide a model for learning love. She stated that despite this, individuals should still embrace love as an act of caring, compassion and strength which can improve all sectors in our daily lives.
2. "Attached" by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller, M.A: In this book, it is stated that there are different attachment theories, a postulate, that we all have a distinct attachment that determines how we react to relationship, anxious attachment, where you have a difficult time feeling secure in a relationship and your partner’s feelings for you.
Attached would help you determine your attachment style and consequently where your relationship struggles might root from and shares hints on how to deal.
3. "Not Nice" by Aziz Gazipura, M.D: The summary of the book is; You should stop pleasing people, Stay Silent & feeling guilty and start saying your mind, say no when necessary, asking boldly, and be yourself. This is the main ideal of the book and it will help in improving your love life.
4. Big friendship by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman: This books show how all friendship are formed, how they can be maintained and the challenges in it.
5. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D: Most people are not cognizant about the impact and effect their upbringing brought on them until far later in life. This book is a low-key love-life changing book. This book is about deciphering your unhealthy and damaging childhood relationships to better create positive new relationships, and it will also have a great effect on your love life.
-Letting Go: The Transformative Power -Benefits of Letting Go: Less Stress, Improved Health, and Personal Growth -Journey to Letting Go: Acceptance, Forgiveness, and New Path -Overcoming Roadblocks: Mindfulness, Guidance, Reflection, and Growth -Embrace Letting Go: Unlock Fulfilling Life
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