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5 Ways to Turn An Argument With Your Spouse Into A Productive Conversation
K. Smith • Jul 29, 2021
Turn Arguments with Your Spouse into Productive Exchanges
Arguments are common in all relationships, but it is important to ensure that they are productive in the long run and may actually strengthen the bond that you share. However, on the other hand, it is possible for arguments to spiral out of control and cause great damage to the relationship. With that in mind, here are 5 ways to make your arguments more productive.
1. Don’t Make Empty Threats
There is no point in saying that you’ll do things that you have no intention of doing. The big example of this is to say that you are going to leave your partner when you have no true desire to do so. All this does is cause upset amongst the two of you and move you further away from any kind of constructive or productive conversation.
2. Listen to Each Other
One of the most important things you can do to ensure that an argument doesn’t get out of hand is to listen to what the other person is saying and respond rationally. Listening to your partner during an argument is vitally important because it helps you to understand why they are angry, and this makes it easier to move the conversation back to something which is constructive.
3. Look at it From Their Side
As mentioned before, looking at the argument from the perspective of your partner can help make the argument into something more productive. However, this can be very hard to do, especially in the heated atmosphere of an argument between romantic partners, but it is incredibly beneficial, so it is a skill that is definitely worth learning. Practicing mindfulness may be a good way of learning this skill because it helps you to become more in touch with your own emotions, which can in turn make it easier to stay calm when an argument begins to boil over.
4. Don’t Make Personal Attacks
This is known as arguing ad hominem, this is a widely known logical fallacy. Making a personal attack during an argument is only going to worsen the situation between you two and will never be able to guide the argument towards a constructive conversation. It is vital that you never make these attacks because they can dig deep into the other person’s mental health also; creating wounds which take a great amount of time to heal in some cases.
5. Be Patient
This is the underlying principle of almost all of these tips, you must be willing to have patience with each other in order to make the arguments more productive than destructive. However, sometimes it may be after the argument is over that you finally are able to have that constructive conversation that you tried to have before. The time between the end of the argument and the beginning of the rational talk may be elongated by the use of personal attacks and being generally unable to accept that you may be wrong. This is why being patient is always a good practice in the long run.
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