If it sounds too scripted, don’t worry, just keep reading and by the end you will get it. Like with anything else, a relationship requires work, and while work is a word many people don’t like to associate with their relationship, it’s just something that comes with the turf if you know what I mean. A successful relationship is managed like a business, pretty much. There’s sales and marketing, operations, quality assurance, accounting, you name it. It’s important to not only grasp this concept but embrace it as well.
In this article we discuss
love strategy and how you can apply it to your relationship for long-term success.
Table of Contents
- The Sex Part
- Jealousy Averted
- Space Management
- Showing Appreciation
- Money Matters
- Time [Management]
Welcome to the battlefield, strap up and get ready for war! Of course I don’t mean literal war, but I will say that it’s going to require warlike strategic measures to come out on top.
The Sex Part
Importance Rating
- 10 of 10 (High)
- Getting this part right is everything for your relationship. Unless two people have the libido of a snail, it’s worth putting in the extra work required to ensure a healthy sex life with the one you love.
Pros
- Reduction in divorce rate
- Immune booster
- Increased overall intimacy
- Improved bonding
- Pleasurable
- Heart health
- Headache relief
Cons
- Can be time consuming
- Stressful if one side has a lower libido
- Can become an unhealthy outlet
Believe it or not, sex should be strategically managed in your relationship. I know what you’re thinking, “that will take the spark out of it all”. If that’s you consider this, 9 times out of 10 you’ve already implemented some level of structure into your sexual routine. Have you or your partner expressed your appreciation for foreplay, roleplaying or some other sexually related preference you may have? If so, welcome to the club. Only this time I want you to turn it up a notch because behind every good sexual encounter is a little extra thought.
You want to take time to better understand your partner’s likes and dislikes, and do so in a way that is nonjudgmental. Far too often when in a new relationship we may assume that their likes are similar to that of your previous partner’s. I’m sure there are some similarities but find out what makes your partner’s desires unique to your situation and watch your sex life thrive.
Jealousy Averted
Importance Rating
- 9 of 10 (High)
- Jealousy is no fun at all, regardless of the side you find yourself on. However, for some there is a healthy balance where a little light jealousy is acceptable, and even appreciated. Understanding how to manage jealousy in your relationship is vital to your happiness.
Pros
- For some it shows that you care
- It can remind you of what’s important (although probably not the best way of being reminded that you care for someone)
Cons
- Can push your partner away
- It’s exhausting
- Super stressful
- Threatens relationship integrity
- Can be considered insulting
For most of us humans we’ve all experienced some level of jealously in our relationships. Whether or not we are on the giving or receiving end, the experience is rarely something we enjoy. When jealously strikes there is always a reason. That reason could be an extremely insecure partner, a misunderstanding or something we’re doing that may be creating jealously in our significant other.
This is part where we have to remember that the world does not revolve around us. I’m not saying that jealous episodes are never unprovoked, but before packing up your bags and writing that person off as an insecure mess, you want to exhaust all possibilities that it isn’t mostly you.
The best way to rid your relationship of jealously is to openly communicate. Open communication should start from the jump. Don’t be afraid to be open and honest, because guess what, you want to weed out those who can’t handle or accept who you really are. Ask specific questions such as “do you have a problem with friends of the opposite sex?”, OR, “How do you feel about me remaining friends with my ex?”. Get your answers up front to avoid confusion and calamity on the backend.
Here are a few questions to get you started off on the right foot and hopefully help avoid a MESS (remember, how you ask these questions are equally important, but I’ve gotcha covered. Each question was written with you in mind):
- How do you feel about staying friends with an ex?
- What are some things that you consider inappropriate for your partner to do, no matter how big or small?
- Have you ever been cheated on? – This question allows you to better understand some potential trigger points in your newly found love that you may want to be aware of. Regardless of how much healing a person does, bad experiences create permanent red flags because it’s only natural that we try and avoid repeating painful mistakes.
- Do you have any insecurities?
- Has anyone ever told you that you’re a jealous person?
- How did your last relationship end?
Space Management
Importance Rating
- 10 of 10 (High)
- Space is the cornerstone of any good relationship. I scored it high because without it your relationship will suffocate quicker than you can say “BREATHE”.
Pros
- Improves relationship quality
- Makes your more desirable to your partner
- Allows time for self-reflection and self-improvement
- Supports other important relationships
- Prevents obsessing over your partner
Cons
- There really aren’t any cons associated with space unless of course the space isn’t for the right reasons. If your partner simply doesn’t want to be around you that’s something else in and of itself, of which should be addressed.
For some people space comes quite natural for them, while for others it’s a struggle. If you find yourself, or your partner, struggling with the concept of space there’s definitely a reason for it. What’s important is that everyone remain supportive and considerate to each side. A good talk is the best way to get started in the right direction. Sooth their fears by letting them know that space is not meant as a punishment, followed by explaining the benefits it provides for everyone. Ultimately, the real solution is going to require that the two of you simply exercise “space” to demonstrate that it poses no threat to your relationship.
Showing Appreciation
Importance Rating
- 8 of 10 (High)
- We all can appreciate a little appreciation now and again, it’s completely normal. Let’s take a deeper look into the pros and cons when it comes to showing and receiving appreciation in your relationship.
Pros
- Helps to build confidence
- Supports good health
- Counters adversity
- Increased willingness, in general, from your partner
- Improves moods
- Builds trust
Cons
- There are no real cons to showing appreciation unless the appreciation is done for the purpose of gain or manipulation. If you, or your partner, is only paying a compliment to get something from your partner then it doesn’t count. Authentic appreciation is all about taking the time out to see someone for who they are and expressing your gratitude for the value they bring to your life.
If you’re like most of us you can appreciation someone taking out the time to acknowledge something they find special about you. This is all the more important when it comes to an intimate partner. In relationships we go through so many ups and downs, turns and drops, and having someone say something meaningful can mean everything. If you feel you could do better in this area then do it, you’d be surprised at the benefits it will bring for you in your relationships. If your partner lacks in this way you should first try demonstrating consistently yourself and see if they pick up the breadcrumbs. Just be sure that you are authentic about it and not concerned about whether or not, or when, they reciprocate it. If their lack of “acknowledgement” is that big of an issue for you, try talking with them, calmly and respectfully, and let them know that you would love to know what they think about you from time to time because it feels good.
Here are some good, authentic, reasons to show appreciation to your partner:
…Their
- Consistency
- Patience
- Courage
- Hard work
- Cooking
- Time with the children
- Expression of love
- Sex
- Ability to wash your car
- Willingness to listen
- Support
- Taste in clothing
- Taste in movies
…AND the list goes on
Money Matters
Importance Rating
- 10 of 10
- Money management is everything when it comes to relationships, especially if you plan on marrying the person you are with. Let’s discuss why the handling of money is so darn important for you and your partner.
“Money is an opportunity to reach unity in marriage. When couples work together, they can do anything” -Dave Ramsey
When it comes to cash I cannot stress how important it is in a relationship to get this part right. Working together as a team is going to be the difference between financial freedom and constantly looking for ways to make ends meet. COUPLES, hear me out……get on the same page! It may sound boring and unnecessary but you must sit down and create a financial plan for the two of you to follow. This could be anything from creating a savings plan that you both will contribute to, to starting a travel fund in order to avoid spending the wrong cash on the wrong things.
Just remember, the health of your financial life will have everything to do with the cooperation of each person involved, so make sure you’re ready and willing to do your part.
Time Management
Importance Rating
- 10 of 10
- Properly managing your time in a relationship cannot be understated. If you’ve ever heard the term “work-life-balance” then you understand the importance of balance when it comes to work, play and relationships. Let’s look at a few pros and cons when it comes to proper Time Management in your relationship.
Pros
- You create time to get your stuff done
- You are able to maintain the peace with your partner
- It demonstrates respect and appreciation for your partner
- Improves the health of your relationship
Proper time management plays a huge role in the success of any relationship. Furthermore, it’s something that should be understood and discussed upfront, as it is important to verbalize one’s intentions when it comes to time and how it’s managed. This will free you and your partner up to plan your lives around the relationship, so that other parts of your lives don’t suffer in the process.
When you don’t take the lead regarding how your time is spent, things will eventually get out of hand. Someone or something is going to suffer and that added weight will ultimately manifest itself within your relationship, in a not so good way.
Tips For The Road:
- You must accept that your relationships requires work and that you must be ready to compromise. Remember, the world doesn’t revolve around you so you must do your best not to act like it. Having this outlook will make ALL the difference in your life.
- Accept your partner as they are, FULLY, otherwise leave. Of course there are times when you might come across a person’s habits that are less than safe or productive. Giving them feedback isn’t trying to control or change them, that my friend is meant to help! Now, if you don’t like the texture of your partner’s hair, or the sound of their voice, then perhaps they’re just not for you.
- Your relationship should feel like a refuge for you and your partner. It should be the ultimate safe-space where you are free to be who you are and express yourself accordingly. However, getting to this point will require work. This is where asking the right questions upfront and being transparent is so important. You can’t expect for someone to feel safe with you when you are not open and upfront with them.
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